Checklist for a Fairbanks -49 Sunday morning
Sat 11:00pm - before bed, make sweeping generalizations about life being relatively easy, and gush about how Larry has yet to screw you over. Sun 7:00am - run out of #2 Heating Oil. sleep through 20 mins of audible fuel pump protest 8:00 - pretend you're not really too cold and bury yourself in blankets 8:30 - wake up with frozen facial features 9:00 - pack all your liquids into a container and load up Larry 9:15 - empty 5-gal water jugs out, after soaking one down-bootie foot in water 9:30 - allow Larry to use his square tires like little solid rubber shovels, to dig himself into the flat driveway 9:45 - practice trenching techniques and dig Larry out 10:00 - the payoff
